A feast, so completely swollen
with the cud of backward thinking
sank within me
rotating,
relentless and growing.
I lost count of the regrets,
the indigestion clamoring to be felt
and heard
quiet moments glistening
just out of reach.
I have
given up and given up
on you
on you on
only you.
Yes, time does heal
memories
leaving whispers
and faint kisses
too sweet to be swallowed whole
estranged now
but for shadows
and glimpses.
Two old souls
tethered together
at the heart.
You and I:
we made quite a pair.
I remember I saw myself
in your eyes.
I should have known right then.
But I wasn’t scared.
Now we drift.
Out of sight and
barely there.
I feel nothing.
This void hurts just the same.
I refuse to be your
Memory Monday.
This space is turbid,
thick with suspense.
I am aware of both
needing you and
pleading with you
to let me be.
Every time you trail off
my arms stretch out to grasp
what little piece of your shadow
I have left.
I’m not sorry,
but I will forget.
Complications starkly
stand before the
rising tides of illusions.
Perfect sunsets slip beneath
the apex of
my dreams.
Darkened now, we grow restless.
Carry my weight in your
heart. The load is yours
to manage.
Quiet shadows lurking
remind us we know
no truth.
Hopeful gestures, yearning.
Let me go
pursue with grace
what little strand
of dignity
creating forward motion
I wait.
The next blow is sure to kill me.
Icy heat and
knotted organs
sloshing slowly towards
the fall.
Trains with human rhythm
beget nothing but
wounded wisdom.
Repeat.
The cherry trees blossomed as you beckoned to me.
I leaned in and listened to the sound of new beginnings.
Whispers of wishes grew ten stories high.
And the green ivy trembled
silently, dancing,
we slumbered.
It was then I heard the dissonance but we were too far along.
You gave me a blindfold and sent me back where I belong.
The safest way to conquer these crescent eclipses
Is to backtrack…
Let me forget you ever existed.
Cascading Chaos 